Sapphic Voices Fan Fiction

Oblivion

Disclamations

In this corner of the Xenaverse, Gabrielle and Xena are sweet on each other. If you would be offended by a depiction of romantic attraction between two consenting, adult Women, this probably isn't the Story for you. There is no graphic sex in this Story. (But they get to make out a little.)

The characters Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, et al, belong to MCA, and appear in the syndicated program, Xena: Warrior Princess. This story is written as fan fiction only.

Silently, the two women sat staring at the campfire, lost in their individual thoughts.

"Xena?"

"Yes, Gabrielle."

"You've never talked about what it was like when you were dead."

Startled, Xena looked at Gabrielle.

"Did you see Marcus?"

"No." She looked into the flames. "I wasn't in the Elysian fields."

"Oh." Tartarus then. Not good.

"I did see someone ... someone from my past."

"Who?"

"M'lila."

"She was the girl that took you to Niklio the first time, wasn't she?"

"Yes."

The silence was broken only by the crackling flames as the women contemplated another time. Both of their memories were terrible, but were of two very different occasions. Xena remembered M'lila's death and her capitulation to rage. Gabrielle remembered Xena dying.

Gabrielle shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. Xena wasn't dead now. She was here sitting next to her. She put her hand on Xena's shoulder.

Xena closed her eyes in pain, looked back into the fire. "I was ready ... ready to suffer what I deserve for all the things I've done."

"What happened?"

"M'lila appeared. We talked about destiny ... about my destiny ... and about choices. When I died, I thought I was finally through with making choices. But there she was, telling me that I must choose my destiny. I've gone over it again and again in my head. She said, "Now that you know evil, were evil, you can fight evil."

She looked at Gabrielle. "Then she told me to listen for the thoughts of the living for the dead and I could hear you, telling me to fight to come back ..." Her voice trailed off. One's thoughts are private, and now it seems a violation to be so intimately acquainted with Gabrielle's during that difficult time. Best not to say anything else.

There hasn't been a lot of time for serious thinking in the last few weeks. She tried again to think about her destiny, to imagine what it could be. Both M'lila and Gabrielle were so certain that it wasn't her time to die. Apparently they were right because here she was back in the land of the living.

"You heard me?" Gabrielle tried to remember what she could have communicated to Xena with her mind, her thoughts. She could only recall the chaos of overwhelming emotion: shock, disbelief, and the incredible pain of loss and emptiness when she realized that Xena was really dead. The memory was still powerful. Her hand dropped from Xena's shoulder and she hugged herself. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Gabrielle?"

The Amazon didn't answer. Xena put an arm around her.

Gabrielle leaned against Xena. Sniffing, she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "It hurt so much ... but YOU were the one that was in pain, suffering ... " She grimaced, and more tears flowed.

Xena put her other arm around Gabrielle, rocked her as she cried against her chest. Her own heart ached, knowing that she was the cause of Gabrielle's pain. She shut her eyes, trying to stop the tears that threatened to escape.

Gradually, the sobs that racked the smaller woman's body subsided. Embarrassed, she pulled away. "I'm OK now Xena."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. But it's late now. I'm going to try to get some sleep." She went over to the blanket and laid down, turning her back to Xena's concerned gaze.

Xena watched until she was certain Gabrielle was asleep. She got up and checked on Argo, then made a quick silent circuit of their campsite. She banked the fire and laid down on the blanket next to Gabrielle. She counted stars, smiled to herself, thinking of the contrast between her view of the constellations and Gabrielle's. She drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Suddenly Gabrielle bolted up. Frantically she looked around, then fearfully down at Xena's body beside her. She held her breath until she saw the warrior's chest rise and fall in the light of the moon.

Timidly, she placed her hand over Xena's. She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. It was warm. She opened her eyes and was startled to see Xena looking back at her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Another nightmare?"

Gabrielle nodded. These dreams continued to haunt her, even though Xena has returned. Only the physical touch of the living, breathing warrior eased her torment.

"Here." Xena pulled her down beside her. Pillowing Gabrielle's head on her shoulder, she wrapped her other arm around her. "Better?"

"Yes." She closed her eyes. Maybe now she can sleep.

Xena lay very still, concentrated on keeping her breathing steady. Gabrielle's nearness caused her heart to pound, and it seems ages passed before the woman next to her fell back to sleep. These nightmares have exhausted them both. She feared what might happen if she should fall asleep holding Gabrielle like this and fought to maintain consciousness.

Her thoughts returned to the time she was dead, when her spirit inhabited Autolycus' body. She had reached a rough accomodation of sorts with him as they worked together to save her body from the flames of the Amazon funeral pyre. Although neither of them was entirely comfortable with the arrangement, she had nevertheless developed a new respect for the King of Thieves. He was not nearly as greedy or self-absorbed as he tried to present himself and was actually a very kind, generous person.

And forgiving. He'd never said another word about her knocking him down when Gabrielle pointed out his hand was on her butt. She could feel her face flush with embarrassment as she remembered her loss of control. She was thankful that Gabrielle had not tried to talk to her about that time.

She relived the incident in her mind. Gabrielle began touching Autolycus, looking for her, asking for her, and Xena just had to talk to her. She HAD to! When Autolycus protested, she jerked him around like a puppet. So much for her agreement to only take control with his permission.

All she wanted was to talk to Gabrielle, to tell her about the ambrosia, that there was a chance for her to come back from the dead. But there was Gabrielle before her, and a barrage of intense emotion hit Xena. She couldn't really understand Gabrielle's thoughts -- they were too incoherent. But the Amazon's feelings were crystal clear to her: joy, grief, confusion, anger. They all resolved into longing ... into love.

Xena intended only to reassure Gabrielle when she kissed her, but her control of Autolycus' body vanished the instant their lips met. She suddenly could not bear the idea that the lips on Gabrielle's were not her own. She watched with shock as the momentum she had initiated in his body resulted in a kiss that was more than friendly, more than reassurance. As Gabrielle responded, hands grasping Autolycus' arms, lips moving against his, Xena could not tell if the Amazon Queen's reaction was to her or to their friend.

She sighed deeply, mortified again, as she remembered striking Autolycus with jealous rage. The blow, and the emotion behind it, had sapped her already waning strength. Strength that was needed later when Velasca confronted them in the hall of ambrosia. Fortunately, with the help of Autolycus and the rebel Amazons, they had been able to defeat Velasca and recover enough ambrosia for Xena's return to life. Poor Autolycus' only reward was a broken arm and her inadequate thanks.

Gabrielle stirred against her. Xena held her breath, willing the woman on her arm to continue sleeping. Gabrielle's breathing remained steady, her expression calm and peaceful. Xena relaxed again, and tenderly stroked the red-gold hair.

Tonight was the first time Gabrielle had ever mentioned Xena's death. Ordinarily, she would have pestered Xena about everything that happened, and would have composed at least three versions of tales describing what happened. At least Gabrielle still had dreams -- not like when Perdicus died, and the muse deserted her.

She contemplated her relationship with Gabrielle since her return. That first night had been spent with Gabrielle in fierce debate with the Amazons. She had been so adamant, so vehement in her efforts to persuade them that her rule was legitimate, that Xena had been convinced Gabrielle was planning to stay there and govern them as the Amazon Queen. The warrior princess had been immensely relieved to learn that Gabrielle was only trying to preserve the right of caste tradition and to arrange Ephiny's appointment as her proxy.

Then they had to take care of Velasca ... and had to use Callisto to do it. She dreaded the day the two goddesses escape to wreak more revenge on them both. But she feared more the hurt she inflicted on Gabrielle when she decided to free Callisto. The dreams that plague them both seem to have started about then. Could Gabrielle be dreaming of Callisto's murder of Perdicus? Why do so many circumstances seem to conspire against them, to require her to do things she knows will hurt Gabrielle?

After the Velasca/Callisto battle, she tried to distract Gabrielle from their recent troubles. They passed the time with a running game of twenty questions, and with Xena goading Gabrielle

into her playful attempts to get past her guard. She had felt the tension between them ease somewhat, but then the frying pan and scroll incident had showed her how clumsy her efforts were. How could she have been so thoughtful and inconsiderate?

She blundered again when she left Gabrielle to go help King Lias. The bard had thought her patronizing when she told her she could handle whatever came up during their separation. And it had taken days for Joxer to decide he had other things to do. She rolled her eyes. The warrior-wannabe had a good heart, but could be extremely annoying even in small doses.

Xena continued her ruminations for a while, castigating herself for her many failures of the past, the present and the probable future. She decided to give up this fruitless exercise when she heard the cheerful song of the bird in the tree above them announcing another morning. She carefully, gently replaced her arm with Gabrielle's bag as her pillow.

"Brraack, brruck, brruck!"

Xena stopped, turned and looked blankly, eyebrow raised, at Gabrielle. The bard absentmindedly strolled along a few paces behind Xena and Argo, and didn't notice her friend's curious look. Xena shrugged, turned back, and continued to lead Argo up the gradually steepening forest trail.

"Gwahnk, gwhonk!"

Xena smiled to herself, but kept her eyes on the trail. Gabrielle must be entertaining herself with these curious exclamations. They had been walking uphill all morning along the narrow trail, and the necessary single file formation wasn't conducive to conversation.

Xena turned her attention back to the path. The thick forest growth on both sides of the switchback trail obscured any view of the surrounding countryside, so she concentrated on the sounds and smells of the terrain, listening and watching for any perils or obstacles ahead of them. She kept an eye out for signs of game, berry bushes, savory herbs -- given the right ingredients, her companion could work wonders with their traveling fare. Xena had developed a real appreciation for the bard's imagination and, yes, well, artistry, with camp cooking.

Suddenly, she spied a slight movement, low to the ground in a bush a few feet from the path. Quietly drawing her knife, she steathily aproached the bush.

"RAR-RAR-RAR-RAUFF!"

And a very plump, probably juicy, but panicked rabbit burst out of the bush, streaking across the path, through Argo's legs, escaping back into the sheltering undergrowth.

Sighing, Xena returned her dagger to its sheath. Gabrielle, still oblivious to the events around her, didn't notice the warrior's exasperated look. Once again Xena turned to lead the way, with a deeper sigh. Sometimes she didn't know what Gabrielle could be thinking.

"Xena, wait!

"Xena, I can't believe you passed this! Look, strawberries!"

And when the warrior/huntress looked back, there was the bard gathering beautiful, ripe, strawberries from underneath the very bush Xena had found the rabbit.

"Really, Xena, these will be a real treat. They're just perfect! And look, rosemary! Too bad we don't have something like a rabbit or bird to roast. Oh well, just give me a minute to gather a few, and maybe we'll find something else to go with these."

Gabrielle looked up, "Don't think I didn't notice you rolling your eyes. We're not in any hurry, and this will just take a minute."

Xena couldn't help herself, she grinned at Gabrielle and returned to help gather the berries and wild herbs.

The two women bent to the task in the hot midday sun. When they finished, Gabrielle tucked her find into a pack on Argo's back. They resumed their progress on the trail, Xena leading Argo, Gabrielle following.

A few minutes later, they came upon the sound of rushing water and a tiny clearing in the thick forest growth.

"Why don't we stop here and have some lunch. I'll catch some fish if you'll make a fire."

"Lunch! Great, I'm starved."

The two friends went about their separate tasks. Just as Xena finished with Argo over by the streambed, Gabrielle began to prepare the wood for a fire in the center of the clearing.

"Gabrielle."

"Yes, Xena?"

"What were those noises you were making today?"

"Noises? Oh, those! Well, I was thinking about that group of children ... remember in that last village? What was its name ... Prox- ... no that was ... Xixa- .. no ... come to think of it, I don't think anyone ever told me what the village was called ..."

"Gabrielle ... "

"Well, anyway, while I was telling stories to the children, I got to thinking how much fun it was to imitate animal sounds when I was young, and thought I'd like to work on a children's story with lots of animals in it. You know, kind of like that fellow, Aesop."

"Sounds like a good idea. What kind of animals are in your story?"

"What! You couldn't tell?"

"Well ... no."

"Really? I was working on my chicken, my duck, and my dog." The bard's face fell with disappointment.

"I'm sure you'll be perfect with a little more practice. And one of them got a reaction from Argo."

"Argo! Argo's no audience for a story!"

"Well, maybe you need to practice your imitations a little more. What others have you been working on? You could try them out on me while I catch our lunch."

Gabrielle followed her. "Well, I have a donkey ...hee AWH! hee AWH!" Argo looked up. "Hey, maybe Argo IS a good audience! Argo, what do you think of my pig? SNORT, SNORT, SNORT." Argo resumed grazing. "Maybe not."

Xena giggled. Gabrielle glared at her. Xena attempted an innocent expression, not quite successfully.

"Everybody's a critic." grumbled Gabrielle.

"Oh come on, don't give up now." Xena was grinning openly. "What about a rooster?"

Gabrielle tucked her hands in her armpits, flapped her elbows, threw back her head and crowed, "Ar-ar-ar-ar AAARRR!" Xena's grin widened. Gabrielle started to smile.

"That's the spirit!" encouraged Xena. "Now do a sheep."

"BAAAAA!"

"A goat."

"BAAAAAAAAA!"

"That sounds a lot like the sheep."

"Well they DO sound alike to me!" Gabrielle was smiling broadly. "What else?" She'd never got a reaction like this from Xena before. She thought she was on to something.

"How about a horse?" Xena removed her boots and armor to wade into the stream. Her cheeks were beginning to hurt, she was grinning so hard.

"NA-A-A-A-AY." Argo looked up, snorted. Xena guffawed and snorted too.

"A cow! Do your cow!" Xena choked out.

Gabrielle couldn't purse her lips because she was laughing. "Mmm.. Mm.. Mmmew!"

"That sounds like a cat!" Xena laughed and Gabrielle joined her. Gabrielle hadn't heard Xena laugh like this in ages. It was music to her ears, and she believed there was no more beautiful sight in the world. She advanced on Xena, who stepped backward toward the stream.

"You don't like my cow? Mmmew!" She intentionally downgraded her cow to a cat. "What's wrong with it? Mmmew!" And one more time, MMMEW!! right in Xena's face.

Xena, helpless from laughter, lost her balance and fell over backwards into the ice-cold stream. SPLASH!

Gabrielle fell to her knees, holding her sides and laughing. "Oh Xena!"

"Aaak! This water is freezing!" She struggled to gain her feet on the slippery rocks and fell back again, sputtering and laughing.

Gabrielle waded in to help Xena up. "Eeek! It's like ice! Come on, give me your hand!" Xena grabbed her hand, started to stand, and then slipped again, pulling Gabrielle into the water with her. Both women surfaced, gasping from the cold. Finally, they gained their footing and scrambled up the bank. They held each other up, shivering, but still laughing.

Xena turned to Gabrielle, "Your cow is so mooooving!" She pulled a fish out of the top of her cleavage and tossed it on the grass.

Gabrielle giggled. "Wait a minute! Your cow is better than mine! Come on, let me hear it!"

"Oh no, YOU'RE the story teller!"

"You've been holding out on me! Come on, woman of many talents, do your cow for me or no strawberries for you!"

Xena jutted out her chin, straightened her shoulders and did her best to imitate proper bardic posture. She threw her head back, and bellowed, "MMMMOOOOOOO! MMMMOOOO!" Argo whinnied. "MMMMOOOO!"

Still clinging to Xena's arm, Gabrielle convulsed with laughter.

Xena MMMMOOOO!'d again at Gabrielle.

"MMMEEW!" Gabrielle to Xena.

"Mmmooo" quieter.

"Mmew." very softly.

No longer laughing, but still smiling, the two women's eyes met. Gabrielle decided, not for the first time, that clear pale blue was a very warm color. Xena discovered an overwhelming fondness for bad cow imitations. Especially when Gabrielle's lips pursed like that.

'How can my insides be so warm when my backside is so cold?' Gabrielle wondered to herself.

Soberly, Xena said, "We're both soaking. Come on, let's get dried off and build that fire." But neither woman moved.

Surprising herself, Gabrielle pulled away first. "Come on, Xena. Let's get mooving." She looked back at Xena, still dripping wet and standing still. Xena smiled. It was dazzling, and Gabrielle wondered if her knees would hold out. She walked away trying to catch her breath.

Xena sighed. The leather tunic squeaked as she bent over to clean the fish. Her wet clothes stuck to her in awkward and uncomfortable places. When the fish was ready, she patted Argo and filled a waterskin before joining Gabrielle at the fire.

Gabrielle seasoned the fish with the herbs they found and put it in the coals. She filled a pan with water to heat for tea. Xena was transfixed when she began to shed her wet clothes.

Gabrielle looked up as she finished changing and noticed Xena shivering. "Aren't you going to get into some dry clothes?" Xena started fumbling with the fastenings of the uncooperative wet leather.

"Here, let me help you with that." Gabrielle walked behind Xena and worked at the knots and clasps of the bindings. Once she had freed the warrior from her wet tunic, she handed her a homespun shift. "Sit here, I'll make us some tea. That should warm us up." She busied herself with making tea, laying Xena's wet clothes out to dry, locating some bread and the strawberries. Xena slumped down to the ground with her back to the rock, but her eyes never left Gabrielle.

She came to stand in front of Xena, and handed her a mug of tea. Setting the bread and berries on the rock beside Xena, she poured herself a mug and returned to sit next to Xena. Xena took a sip, set down her mug, and put an arm around Gabrielle's shoulders. Gabrielle leaned into the warmth against her and waited for the fish to cook.

They talked of inconsequential things as they ate the spartan dinner. Gabrielle had difficulty keeping track of the conversation. She was very aware of the warrior's body next to her, the soft breast that brushed against her arm, the powerful muscles around her shoulder, the movement of Xena against her as she reached for another strawberry.

Finally the meal was over. Cold no longer, Gabrielle enjoyed the luxury of Xena's touch. She leaned her head against Xena's shoulder, and her entire body thrilled when Xena whispered into her ear, "Comfortable?"

Gabrielle only nodded. What to say? This was better than any dessert.

Exhausted from her weeks of sleep interrupted by nightmares, feeling relaxed and safe next to Xena, her head drooped and she dozed off.

Gently, Xena propped her friend back against the rock, got up and unpacked a blanket, spread it on the ground. She knelt down in front of Gabrielle and began to ease her onto the blanket. Gabrielle opened her eyes and looked at her sleepily.

"Xena?"

"Sh, you're tired. Lay down and rest." Xena grasped her shoulders to pull her toward the blanket. The drowsy Gabrielle looked so lovely that Xena couldn't resist, and she gently kissed Gabrielle's forehead. "Sleep."

Gabrielle closed her eyes, but opened them again. Xena lost herself in those eyes, and bent to kiss her again. This time their lips met. It was a slow, sweet kiss, but impossible to misinterpret. When she finally opened her eyes, Gabrielle's eyes were staring back at her, wide with shock.

Xena leapt up, dropping Gabrielle to the ground like a hot potato. She backed away. "Gabrielle, I ..."

Gabrielle jumped to her feet and advanced on Xena. "Don't. You. Dare." She poked Xena in the chest, punctuating each each word with an index finger. "Don't you dare try to apologize." Xena opened her mouth to speak. She was in a panic as Gabrielle backed her up against a rock. "And don't you dare try to pretend it didn't happen. You kissed me. You KISSED me!"

Xena frantically looked from side to side. There was no escape. This had to be the worst moment in her life. Fearing to meet Gabrielle's eyes, she nevertheless looked down at the Amazon Queen, the woman whose trust and innocence she had betrayed with her lack of self-control.

Hands on her hips, Gabrielle indignantly waited for Xena to explain herself, then noticed that Xena looked positively ill. In exasperation, she pivoted around, threw her arms in the air, "I give UP!"

Stunned, Xena thought to herself, 'What have I done! I've ruined everything. It's just that her lips were so warm, so responsive ...' Her eyes opened wide. 'Hey wait a minute!'

With one long stride, she caught up to Gabrielle and whirled her around to face her. "Gabri-"

Gabrielle threw her arms around Xena's waist and buried her face in her chest. Her voice was muffled, but Xena heard her clearly when she told her, "I've been waiting for so long, Xena."

Xena gently lifted her chin and cupped Gabrielle's face in her hands. She slowly leaned forward and kissed Gabrielle. This was not a friendly little peck. She wasn't trying to reassure or comfort her friend. She had only one motivation for this lovely, sweet kiss -- she wanted to, with all her heart.

Gabrielle, too. The little Amazon Queen from Potadeia had never experienced anything more wonderful than the soft lips of the Warrior Princess on her own. She closed her eyes and tried to decide what she liked best, Xena kissing her upper lip or her lower lip. No wait, maybe it's the warmth of the warrior's hands on her face. Oh, there's a new competitor, Xena's tongue sliding between her lips and teeth. She happily greeted it with her own, and her body exploded with sensation. She put her arms around Xena's neck and tangled her fingers in the luxurious long black hair.

Their kiss seemed to last forever, or perhaps time itself stopped for such a momentous event. It was a conversation between two hearts but one soul. There were no proxies or intermediaries to interfere with understanding as they spoke to one another of love without words.

Xena suddenly pulled away. "Gabrielle, I heard something."

Gabrielle looked behind her. "What?"

"Sh! Listen."

Xena jumped when a squirrel ran between their legs. Then they both heard something crashing through the undergrowth. The warrior dashed to her weapons and grabbed her chakram and sword. "Gabrielle, get your staff."

Pheasants burst into the air from their concealment in a bush at the edge of the clearing as a panicked deer dashed through their campsite, followed by two rabbits, then a fox. They were all clearly in terror for their lives. Then the two women heard the cause of all this frantic activity.

"No, it can't be." Gabrielle groaned.

Metal clattered against metal. Then the sound they'd hoped never to hear again -- a man singing. The voice came ominously closer and closer from the black shadows of the forest.

"Joxer the Mighty,
He's very tidy
Everyone admires him ..."

"No, not him ... not now ..."

"He's so handsome it's a sin
If you're in jeopardy
Don't call the calvary"

Several more creatures of the forest stampeded through their camp.

"There's another remedy
Although he doesn't work for free"

Xena's shoulders slumped with resignation.

"He's every man's trustee
He's every woman's fantasy"

Gabrielle gripped her shoulder. "Quick, let's hide!"

"Too late. He's coming right for us."

"Plus he's goo- ood company
He's Joxer, I'm Joxer the Mighty!"

Joxer the Lionhearted triumphantly burst into the clearing, tripped over his own feet and fell on his face. The two women looked at each other with dismay, then rolled their eyes to the heavens and picked him up.

"Xena, Gabrielle!" He saw the sword in Xena's hand. "I see I got the drop on you again! What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing, Joxer. I thought you were headed towards Athens." As soon as he'd announced his intentions, Xena and Gabrielle set out in the opposite direction.

"Yeah, well, my uncle sent for me." His chest puffed out with pride. "He sent for me, said he needs my help. He lives just on the other side of this mountain."

"He sent for YOU?" Gabrielle was astonished that anyone would voluntarily seek Joxer's assistance.

"He said he had a job for me." Joxer realized Gabrielle had emphasized the word "you" and glanced at her with suspicion. "An important job." He looked over at the campfire. "Say, have you two got anything to eat? The hunting is terrible in these woods. I'm starving!"

Xena never thought that she could ever be glad to hear Joxer snoring. Tonight, however, it was music to her ears. Finally, he'd gone to sleep. She lay down on the blanket next to Gabrielle and propped herself up on one elbow to gaze at the woman's quiet form. She decided to steal a kiss. Glancing once more over at Joxer to ascertain she was unobserved, she lightly kissed Gabrielle's lips.

Gabrielle opened her eyes and smiled. "Xena," she breathed. "You're real. I thought I was dreaming." She ran her fingers through the long soft hair that draped over her shoulder, curtaining them from Joxer's view.

"I'm no dream." Xena took her hand and placed her palm over her heart. "Feel."

Xena's skin felt softer than the most delicate silk. Gabrielle marveled at the life beating beneath its surface.

Now it was Xena who felt as if she was dreaming when Gabrielle wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her down. Her lips were full and warm, so inviting.

Leisurely, they explored one another, tongues tasting the long-sought sweetness of their mutual desire, mouths and lips expressing their hearts' ambition.

Their kisses became more urgent, more passionate, affected by the demands of their increasingly involved bodies. Xena broke away, breathing heavily, and collapsed on her back. Gabrielle followed and tried to resume where they left off, but Xena grabbed her shoulders and stopped her.

"Gabrielle, wait." She whispered. "I can barely control myself now."

"That's the idea." Gabrielle had no interest whatsoever in self control. What for?

"I think you forgot Joxer is sleeping a couple of paces behind you. He's a sound sleeper, but I think he'd notice if we went much further."

"Joxer. Who's Joxer?" Gabrielle kissed Xena.

Her defenses momentarily crumbled to such a delicious assault, but then she rallied and tore her lips from Gabrielle's. "Gabrielle." She used her most serious warrior princess tone of voice. "It just wouldn't be right," her voice and face softened with a smile, "or very romantic." She sat up and leaned back against the rock behind her.

Gabrielle crawled over and sat next to her. Resting her head on Xena's shoulder, she sighed. "I guess I'm not thinking very clearly right now." Indeed, her mind was focused on only one thing. Her face brightened with inspiration, and she turned to Xena. "We could sneak away while he's sleeping."

"Relax, Gabrielle." Xena moved behind Gabrielle and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's waist. "We'll find a way to be alone together."

Gabrielle leaned back and enjoyed the warmth and security of Xena's embrace. She glanced over her shoulder. "Promise?"

Xena kissed the back of her head and whispered into her ear. "Soon, very soon. I promise."

Gabrielle was a bundle of nerves. "What?"

"I ASKED you where Xena went." Joxer rolled his eyes.

Gabrielle gritted her teeth. "She's hunting. She said she'd catch up with us later."

They had nearly reached the top of the mountain pass. Joxer stomped on ahead of her and she followed, leading Argo. It was a beautiful, sunny day and the scenery was breathtaking, but Gabrielle was in no mood to appreciate it. In fact, she had just about reached the limit of her patience. Xena disappeared a couple of hours ago, leaving her alone with Joxer and his constant prattling about his prowess as a warrior, as a man of the world, the important work he'll do for his uncle. If he sings that stupid song one more time ...

A hand clamped over her mouth and another yanked her into the trees.

Xena waited until Gabrielle realized it was her. Smiling, she removed her hand, pulled Gabrielle to her and kissed her passionately. Despite the barrier of armor between them, Gabrielle pressed herself against Xena and returned the kiss with equal fervor.

"Gabrielle? Where'd everybody go?" Joxer voice sounded worried.

Xena and Gabrielle stepped back onto the trail.

"There you are!" Noticing that Xena's hands were empty, "I see you didn't have any luck hunting."

"Oh, I found what I was looking for." She looked meaningfully at Gabrielle, who blushed. Turning back to Joxer, "There's a place to rest just up ahead."

"Rest! What we need is something to eat! You're just slowing us down."

A few more feet and the trail opened onto a meadow. A fire blazed, and the aroma of roasting meat wafted invitingly through the air.

"Well, I see you've made yourself useful. Is that rabbit?" Joxer groused. "You know I like mine rare, very rare." He plunked himself down on the ground next to the fire, breathing heavily. He grabbed one of the spits, burned his hand, and dropped the rabbit on the ground.

"That one's yours." Gabrielle taunted him.

He put a burned finger in his mouth, tried to pick up the rabbit, burned his hand again. He glared at the Amazon. "I can handle a little dirt."

Xena picked up the rabbit, dusted it off, handed it to him. Pulling her knife, she speared the other rabbit, set it on a leaf, and cut it in sections. She handed Gabrielle her portion.

Progressing down the west face of the mountain, the three travelers enjoyed the warmth of the afternoon sun. Xena had suggested that Joxer lead the way so she could guard their rear. Her attention was focused on a particular, quite shapely rear. With a couple of long-legged strides, she caught up to Gabrielle and patted her butt.

Gabrielle looked up at her wide-eyed. Xena gazed up at the treetops, trying to look innocent. "Interesting new approach you've taken to sneaking up on me, Xena."

"I have many skills." This was a lot more fun than twenty questions.

Gabrielle took her hand and they strolled leisurely down the path. Argo followed, but didn't appreciate the view nearly as much as Xena.

As soon as Joxer disappeared around a bend in the trail, Gabrielle leapt on Xena, knocking her down into the grass.

"Oof! Mmfhh ..." Gabrielle lost the advantage as Xena rolled her on her back, pinning her to the ground with her full weight. The warrior grinned wickedly and kissed her thoroughly. Gabrielle moaned and wrapped her arms around Xena's neck, pulling her tighter against her.

Suddenly Xena's head popped up. "Did you hear that?"

"It's just Joxer goofing off." Gabrielle tried to pull her down again.

"No. Something's wrong." She stood and pulled Gabrielle to her feet. "Stay here with

Argo. I'll check it out." She dashed around the bend in the trail.

Hair disheveled, Gabrielle leaned against Argo, took a deep breath and steadied herself. When the warhorse turned to look at her, she told her, "YOU stay here. You can look after yourself." On wobbly legs, she staggered after Xena mumbling to herself about wax and earplugs. Argo shook her head and followed.

Something was definitely wrong. Xena skidded to a horrified stop. "Joxer! Leave that bear alone!"

A bear cub was desperately clinging to a tree trunk just above head level and bawling piteously. Joxer pulled at the cub's leg. "Let go!"

Xena strode over to him, grabbed his shoulder and whirled him around. "What are you doing!"

Indignantly, Joxer knocked her hand from his shoulder and turned back to the bear. "I'm trying to get him down. He's stuck." He pulled at the cub's leg again.

"Joxer, are you out of your mind?" Gabrielle came up behind Xena. "You don't know where his moth--"

Gabrielle flew through the air as the cub's enraged mother knocked her aside. The furious bear stood on her hind legs and roared in Xena's face, prepared to make short work of the other two threats to her offspring.

Xena flung her chakram. WHOOSH! CLANG! CLANG! Thud. It ricocheted off two rocks and hit the bear in the back of the head, knocking her unconscious. She fell to the ground, nose just inches from Xena's feet. The cub scrambled down from the tree, ran over and began licking it's mother's face.

Xena leaned over them, saw that the bear was still breathing. Then she spied Gabrielle's crumpled form on the ground several feet away. Rushing over, she knelt beside the unconscious woman. Gabrielle's arm was bleeding where the bear's claws tore into her, and she was laying at a very awkward angle. Xena ripped off a strip of cloth from Gabrielle's skirt and started binding the wound. She whistled for Argo, and the horse trotted into the clearing.

"Joxer!" He stared in shock at the bear. "Joxer! Get away from those bears! Gabrielle's hurt and we've got to get away from here quick!"

"Huh?" He shook his head. "Oh, right." He hurried over to the two women.

"Joxer, give me your cape. I need another bandage."

He sat down beside her and started pulling armor off, not quickly enough to satisfy Xena. She reached over and ripped off the nearest half of his cape, turned and wrapped it around Gabrielle's arm. It was instantly soaked with blood. Xena gathered Gabrielle up in her arms and stood. She looked over at the bears. The big one groaned.

"Come on, she's waking up. We've got to get out of here, now!"

Joxer scrambled to his feet, looking worriedly over his shoulder at the bears.

Carefully, Xena set Gabrielle up on Argo, mounted behind her and cradled her in her arms. "Let's go." She urged Argo into a fast walk. Joxer trotted after them.

A couple of miles away, Xena pulled Argo to a halt. Carefully, she slid off the horse and laid Gabrielle on the ground. She frantically unpacked the blankets and her medical supplies.

"Gabrielle, Gabrielle, can you hear me?" No response, still unconscious.

Joxer staggered into the clearing, chest heaving.

"Joxer! Bring me that waterskin!"

Miraculously, he didn't argue and didn't fumble. Xena discarded the blood- soaked bandages from Gabrielle's arm and washed the wound. She skillfully stitched the gashes closed, washed Gabrielle's arm and rebandaged it. The bleeding had finally slowed, but the arm felt feverish Cautiously, Xena felt Gabrielle's legs and arms. There didn't seem to be any broken bones, but her ankle was badly swollen. There was a darkening bruise on her temple. She lifted her eyelids. Gabrielle groaned but didn't wake up.

"How is she?" Joxer squatted beside Xena. "Do you want me to build a fire?"

Xena didn't reply. She stroked the red-gold hair. "Gabrielle, can you hear me?"

Gabrielle groaned again and feebly croaked out, "... very tidy ... oooh ... my head hurts." She opened her eyes. "Xena, PLEASE make Joxer stop singing."

Xena didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "He's not singing now, Gabrielle." She gave him the look. "And he's not going to."

"What happened?" Gabrielle struggled to sit up. "Where's that cub?"

Xena was relieved that Gabrielle's memory was intact. "With its mother. She's the one that came up behind you and did this." She motioned in the direction of Gabrielle's arm.

Gabrielle looked down at her wound. "Ow." She fainted.

"Xena?"

"What, Joxer?"

"My uncle's place is still a day's ride ahead. The trail ahead is pretty rough, but I've been this way lots of times. Do you think we should wait until morning to leave, or do you want to

start out now and travel through the night?"

"Can you find your way there in the dark?"

He nodded.

"Joxer, I need to know, REALLY know, if you can do this. If you're just boasting ..."

He winced, "Really, Xena. You can depend on me." He looked down at Gabrielle. "So can she."

They packed up in the light of the setting sun. Joxer gathered wood for torches and tied the bundle together. They wrapped Gabrielle up in a blanket, filled all the waterskins. As Xena repacked the medical supplies, Joxer pulled out his best shirt and shredded it. He did the same to the legs of his pants to above the knees. Handing the bundle to Xena, he explained, "Here. In case we need more bandages."

Xena smiled at him. "Thanks Joxer." She carefully packed the additional cloth. "Can you hand Gabrielle up to me on Argo?"

"You bet." His chin rose from his chest as he realized Xena trusted him not to drop her wounded friend. Xena mounted, and he carefully lifted Gabrielle up to her. He picked up the bundle of torches and threw it over his shoulder.

The trail was indeed difficult, and it got dark very fast. The thick forest growth obscured what little moonlight illuminated the path, and it got steeper and rockier with every step. But Joxer was true to his word, and cautiously guided them down the treacherous slope as if he were shepherding his own fragile grandmother.

At last, the trail leveled out and widened into a road. The sky was beginning to lighten to the east. They paused to rest and to check on Gabrielle's condition. Her arm was hot to the touch. Despite the blanket wrapped around her, she had shivered all night. Fortunately, she slept through most of the trip. The few occasions she woke, she seemed to be reassured by Xena's nearness, and drifted back into troubled sleep.

Xena took her hand from Gabrielle's forehead, looked at Joxer. "She's about the same. Is it much further?"

"Just another couple of miles. We'll get there in time for breakfast."

Xena grasped Joxer's forearm. "Thanks Joxer. That was quite a trip."

He grinned, but his expression sobered. "I'm so sorry, Xena. If it wasn't for me ... for my stupidity ..."

"We all make mistakes. I know you learned something."

"Yeah, don't go near bears -- big OR little."

Xena chuckled. "Yup. Let's get going."

Gabrielle woke up in a panic and tried to sit up. A woman's hands helped her, but it wasn't Xena's voice that told her, "Take it easy, Gabrielle." Startled, she looked at the woman sitting in a chair beside her bed. A bed! How did she get here?

"Who are you? Where's Xena?"

"I'm right here, Gabrielle." Xena strode into the room carrying their gear. She droped the packs to the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Gabrielle gingerly touched her forehead and winced. "My head hurts and my arm hurts. I take it we're at some inn."

"No, actually we're staying with Joxer's family. Gabrielle, this is Jary, Joxer's aunt." "Hello, Gabrielle. Welcome to our home."

"Thank you. Nice to meet you." Gabrielle looked for a family resemblance, detected none in Jary's snow white hair or her sparkling green eyes. When she stood, Gabrielle realized that she would feel tall in comparison to the tiny woman.

"Well! Let's finish getting you two girls settled. How about something to eat? Or would you like a nice hot bath first?"

A difficult choice. Both sounded wonderful, but at her words, Gabrielle's stomach growled in concert with Xena's. Jary laughed, "Breakfast first then. Xena, you stay here and watch Gabrielle. I'll bring a little something up, and have somebody start heating water for your bath." She tottered out of the room.

Xena took Gabrielle's hand. "Gabrielle, you had me so worried."

The door burst open and a tub on two legs staggered in. Joxer set it down in front of the fireplace. "Hey Gabrielle! Glad to see you're awake!"

Gabrielle flinched, and grabbed her head. Xena glared at him, "Not so loud, Joxer."

He looked sheepish. "Oops, sorry."

Joxer surprised Gabrielle with an humble apology for his carelessness in the forest, and then stumbled out the door. She stared after him open-mouthed.

"What happened to Joxer? Where's the rest of his pants?"

Xena smiled at her. "He made bandages. You should have seen him. I think Joxer would have climbed down that mountain naked if he had to. We couldn't have gotten you here so quickly without his help."

"Joxer." Gabrielle looked at Xena then at the doorway. "That Joxer?"

Xena described the harrowing trek down the mountain in the dark. Just as she finished, Jary briought in a tray of food.

They finished eating. Gabrielle was very weak from the blow to her head and the loss of blood. Jary and Xena helped her bathe, and dressed her in a clean shift. They redressed her arm with a poultice for the fever and then tucked her in under the blankets. As Xena bathed, Jary stayed by Gabrielle's side. She left after seeing to the removal of the tub and making certain that Xena also had something clean to wear.

Xena climbed into bed beside the sleeping Gabrielle and yawned. It had been a very long night. Exhausted, they both slept the rest of the day and all through the next night.

Gabrielle's whole body was stiff and sore when she woke. Gradually, she became aware of the woman beside her. Xena was asleep on her side, facing her. The raven hair was draped across one broad, chiseled shoulder. With both hands, she held Gabrielle's hand to her chest. Her face was relaxed, rested.

'Gods, she's beautiful,' thought Gabrielle. She had always considered Xena to be a beautiful woman, and knew her opinion was shared by most of the known world. Over the past few weeks, though, her appreciation of Xena's good looks had changed from the aesthetic appreciation one has for a well-written poem or a finely wrought pottery glaze to something ... well, something a lot less objective. The vision before her was breathtaking.

Although her reaction to Xena's body was powerful, she knew it was her heart that bound her to the warrior. She'd never had any trouble admitting to herself that she and Xena loved each other. How could they not after all they'd been through together?

But what kind of love, that was the question. Like a friend? She trusted Xena with her life, with all her secret hopes and fears. And Xena had taught her so much. Sure, lots of practical stuff about defending herself and surviving in the world, but even more about the nature of good and evil and the battle that rages back and forth between these forces in the heart of every man and every woman.

She thought of the love she had for her family, for her sister Lila. She loved them with all her heart. Yet she knew that her place, her home, was at Xena's side.

And Perdicus, what about Perdicus? She felt so needed, so cherished on their wedding night. She had loved him willingly, wholeheartedly, as a wife loves her husband. Never had she known such terrible pain as that she experienced when he died in her arms. But she had been able to accept his death. When Xena died ... Gabrielle's entire being, her soul, had defied all her efforts to find peace and acceptance. She had felt her connection to Xena even across the chasm that separates the living from the dead.

She remembered how happy she'd been to see the warrior when she and Autolycus stopped to regroup in their flight from the angry Amazons. And when Xena kissed her ... well, this kiss had been different from the other times Xena had kissed her. At least it was different for Gabrielle. For just a fleeting instant, she had felt ... something ... as if Xena's soul had touched her. Then she had realized the lips on hers were framed by a moustache and beard. Startled, she had opened her eyes to see an equally startled Autolycus looking back at her.

She became aware that Xena was watching her. She gazed into those clear, blue eyes and smiled. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

"Good morning. You look like you're thinking about something important."

"I am. I'm thinking about you." Gabrielle stroked the scar on Xena's breast with the back of her hand. Xena continued to hold her hand in both of hers.

Xena fell into the green eyes of the Amazon. She couldn't hear Gabrielle's thoughts any more, but she saw love in those eyes. They were unclouded by confusion or grief, clearer and more beautiful than the most precious jewel, more refreshing and satisfying than the waters of a mountain spring.

"I love you, Gabrielle."

"Xena, I love you too. But ..." she smiled when she saw Xena's worried look, "the word "love" seems so inadequate, so lacking. It's just not big enough to tell you what I feel for you. I think ... no, I know, that you are the other half of my soul."

"Yes." Xena brought Gabrielle's hand to her mouth and kissed it. Gabrielle caressed her cheek.

They lay there, content to bask in the glow of one another's company, soaking up the warmth generated by the quiet joy of their mutual discovery.

Even the sudden, loud knock at the door did not shatter the peace of the moment.

"That's GOT to be Joxer." Gabrielle murmured to Xena. "That man has the most incredibly bad timing in the universe."

"We've got plenty of time now, Gabrielle." Xena kissed her tenderly, then got up to answer the door.

She came face to face with a stack of fresh laundry. Sure enough, it was Joxer's muffled voice that greeted them. "Good morning! Want some clean clothes?"

"Thanks Joxer. Come on in." Xena opened the door wider and took the laundry from him.

Startled by the unprecedented vision of a relaxed, friendly Warrior Princess in a flannel nightgown, Joxer stared at her. Something was different. He snapped out of it when she raised an eyebrow. He looked over at Gabrielle. The bard actually BEAMED at him! "Uh, I guess you're feeling better."

"Oh much." Her arm and head still hurt like Hades, but that seemed so unimportant right now.

"Well, uh, Aunt Jary sent me up to see if you two wanted some breakfast."

"Great! I'm starved. If you'll give us a couple of minutes, we'll be right out." Gabrielle threw her legs over the side of the bed. Both Xena and Joxer rushed to her side.

"Wouldn't you rather have a tray? I can bring it up ..." Joxer anxiously offered.

"Nonsense. It's such a beautiful day, who wants to spend it in bed?" Thunder boomed. Wind and rain rattled against the shuttered window. Joxer looked totally confused when XENA giggled.

"Really, Joxer, I'm fine." Gabrielle shooed him away, a gesture he found weirdly reassuring. "Run along and we'll be there as soon as we get dressed."

He backed out of the room, never taking his eyes off the two smiling women. "OK, I'll tell Aunt Jary you're coming ..." He closed the door behind him. Whew! What could those two be up to?' He shuddered when he heard more giggles from the other side of the door.

"Did you see that! Was he actually wearing an apron?"

"With lace!"

"There, all finished." Xena finished changing the bandage on Gabrielle's arm and helped her back into bed. She looked closely at her patient to evaluate her overall condition. Gabrielle's complexion was pale, an indicator of blood loss and pain. The interesting combination of blues and purples on her right temple was the only color on her white face. The poultices seemed to have helped the wound on her arm, but the bear's claws tore deep into the muscle and Gabrielle would have to restrict her use of that limb for a while. All in all, Gabrielle's injuries, although not life- threatening, were severe enough to limit her activities and to require lots of rest.

"Well? What's your diagnosis, healer?" Gabrielle's voice interrupted her analysis.

"You'll live." Xena smiled at her and brushed the hair away from her bruised forehead. "But it'll be a while before you're strong enough to travel."

"How long?"

Xena shrugged. "A few weeks?"

"A few weeks!" Gabrielle struggled to raise herself in protest. Xena pushed her back down.

"Relax, Gabrielle. You need lots of rest, plenty of good food, and you'll be good as new. Try to think of it as a vacation. You can sleep as late as you want in the mornings, work on your scrolls during the day. You won't have to cook, and are under orders to eat as much as you want." She leaned down and kissed the convalescent. "And when you're better, well, there's this nice soft bed and a good solid door that can be barred for a little privacy. I'll probably have to drag you away when it's time to go."

"Hmmm. You raise some intriguing possibilities...but I think I need more persuading."

Xena grinned and bent down for another kiss.

It turned out that the "important job" Joxer's uncle had for him was to help his aunt with the spring cleaning. Xena and Gabrielle observed with fascination as he aired out bedding, mopped, dusted, washed windows, rearranged furniture, cleaned out the attic, and anything else his aunt dreamed up. They could understand why his aunt would need some help -- she was nearly 80 years old -- and the house had more rooms than most of the inns they'd seen. But they were astonished to learn that Joxer was at the top of the list of people on whom she depended.

" ... he's the only one that'll do it right. His mother trained him well. And you don't hear one peep or complaint out of him while he's working, either ..."

It was true. Joxer the housekeeper was extremely competent. He knew how to get bloodstains out of leather, how to make a window glisten, which polish to use on the fireplace ornaments, how to hang curtains, how to sweep a floor without raising a cloud of dust. All without wasted motion, with grace and dignity. In the week since their arrival, Xena and Gabrielle had watched him do the work of ten strong men. If only he would stop singing while he worked.

"... course it meant he didn't have much time to practice his swordplay and all that nonsense. I never did understand why he wanted to be this mighty warrior' ..."

"But wasn't his father a warrior?" Gabrielle remembered him telling her of the "long line of warlords" from which he was descended.

"That might be stretching it a little. Joxer always did have a big imagination. To tell the truth, his father did a little soldiering here and there, but I don't think he was very good at it. He always came back from campaigns pretty beat up. Still, Joxer loved his daddy so much, I think he just wanted to be a hero like his father always was to him."

"That explains a lot." Xena dryly commented. Idly, she wondered how many of the incompetent soldiers and warriors she has met on the battlefield were just trying to follow in the footsteps of an idealized parent.

Gabrielle was on an entirely different track. "Jary, do you know why Joxer is so ... " she struggled for a diplomatic phrase, "... oblivious?"

"Thick-headed, I call it. He was always a little different from the other kids, and you know how other kids make fun of somebody different. Little Joxer learned early, and hard, that he couldn't let on like he heard them. And I think he got that lesson mixed up with something his father told him again and again -- that he could do anything he wanted if he just believed in himself. Pretty traditional experiences, but it came out kind of unique in Joxer."

Gabrielle caught herself humming Joxer's song -- again. "I'm getting a headache. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go lay down for a while." When Xena moved to follow, "No, I'll be OK. Why don't you make sure I'm up in time for dinner?"

Xena continued the discussion of Joxer without Gabrielle.

Alas, Xena's prediction of privacy for Gabrielle's convalescence did not come true. The first day she started feeling well enough to enjoy that eagerly anticipated time alone with Xena, Joxer's relatives started arriving for a clan gathering and their room was appropriated as a female dormitory. Pallets carpeted the floor, and an alarming amount and variety of baggage littered the room.

"How long did you say this gathering lasts?" Gabrielle whispered to Xena.

"A month, an entire month."

Gabrielle groaned.

The bard chuckled to herself as yet another of Joxer's elderly relatives pinched Xena's cheek and told her how much she's grown since they last saw her, believing the infamous warrior princess to be yet another branch on their prolifically fruitful family tree. She caught Xena's eye and smiled when the blue eyes rolled heavenward, unnoticed by the senior explaining to her how much better things used to be when he was a young man. Joxer wasn't the only person in this family that was oblivious.

Hardly anyone there had any interest in the warrior princess as such. Indeed, their primary interest in either Xena or herself was in their ability to tell about Joxer's exploits. Not having the heart to mention his incompetent foibles, Joxer was getting pretty good press from both of them.

A toddler climbed into Xena's lap and insisted on a game of patty-cake. Solemnly, she acquiesced. Although Gabrielle enjoyed the atmosphere of indiscriminate affection to which they were being subjected, this free-for-all of hugs and kisses must be driving Xena crazy.

There was a sudden commotion at the door as a new set of kinfolk arrived, but Gabrielle didn't take notice of the increased confusion until she heard the words 'bandits and robbers.' She glanced at Xena and watched her set the child on the floor and walk over to the group. Someone called for Joxer and he strode into the middle of the crowd. Gabrielle got up to join them and satisfy her curiosity, but her attempts were frustrated by the unyielding backs of other curious onlookers.

Eventually Xena made her way to Gabrielle's side. The taller woman had shed her amiable persona and a determined warrior princess stood before her.

"What's going on?" Gabrielle asked.

Xena was still watching the backs of the people that obscured Gabrielle's view. "They were held up on the way here. A small band of thieves, but they were unarmed and couldn't fight." She frowned, but then looked positively cheerful at the thought of a little action. She turned to Gabrielle. "Some of us are going to go after them."

"You mean YOU'RE going after them."

"Of course. Don't worry, Gabrielle. I don't think there's very many of them. Maybe ten or fifteen, probably less if the family tendency to exaggeration runs true. Just enough to stretch my legs a little."

Gabrielle looked dubious, even more so when Joxer joined them and clapped Xena on the back.

"Xena! Want to tag along and watch me make mincemeat of these dastardly villains?" He hurriedly removed his hand from her person and took a step back when she raised an eyebrow.

"One hour. I'm leaving in one hour." She turned and strode in the direction of their room.

Joxer called after her. "And if you're not ready, I'll leave you behind!"

"Xena?"

The warrior princess had donned her armor and weapons and was just finishing tightening Argo's cinch. She turned and smiled at Gabrielle.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?" The convalescing bard looked worried.

"Not long. We'll probably be back by tomorrow night."

"I don't like this. Are you sure I can't come with you? I'm feeling much better ..."

"Gabrielle," Xena grasped her shoulders, "everything will be fine. Your arm is still healing. Stay here and let me handle this." Suddenly realizing this would be their first parting since everything changed between them, her expression turned serious and she bent down to kiss Gabrielle.

Gabrielle's arms went around her waist and pulled her tighter into the kiss. It lasted just a little bit longer than it should have, and Xena could hear Joxer calling for her. She pulled away. "You make it very hard to leave." She mounted Argo, looked down at Gabrielle and smiled. "Tomorrow night." She rode away.

Gabrielle watched her until she and Joxer disappeared over the horizon.

As always, the bard longed to follow after Xena. She meditated on the bundle of contradictions that was her warrior princess. One minute she was considerate and thoughtful, and the next she dumped Gabrielle like a sack of onions without a backward glance. She could change in an instant from the playful suitor patting her on the butt to the keen-eared woodsman alert to unusual noises in the woods. Her sense of humor was on a level with most juveniles, yet she was capable of subtle and intricate strategizing. She treated kings, gods, warriors and the most lowly peasant as equals, but tortured herself with guilt and regret for her past. She was deadly and dangerous in battle, and was one of the most capable healers Gabrielle had ever encountered. She could be exhuberant and enthusiastic in a fight, yet was subject to black and oppressive depressions. She had been -- both literally and figuratively -- to Tartarus and back.

"... and I will follow her, even there, if she goes again."

Xena and Joxer located the bandits' camp just a few leagues from his uncle's village. It was, however, unoccupied at the moment. Steathily they approached and spied on the lair from the edge of the clearing. At least Xena was stealthy. Joxer's armor clanked. She glared at him. He shrugged and clanked again.

"Come on, Xena. Nobody's here." He boldly strode toward the unguarded pile of loot.

Xena followed, eyes searching for an ambush, sword in one hand, chakram in the other. "Joxer, I don't like this ..."

"Hey look! I recognize this stuff! This belongs to my cousin ..." He took another step and suddenly flew into the air, slung by the snare around his ankle. The trajectory of Joxer's skull intersected violently with Xena's jaw, rendering both of them unconscious.

"I told you it would work! Look at that -- we got two for the price of one!" Five scruffy, disreputable types entered the clearing. "Quick, let's use those manacles we got last week ..."

Something was wrong, Gabrelle could feel it in her bones. Xena said she'd be back by last night, and there was still no sign of her or Joxer. She decided to strike out to look for them at first light.

Unbelievable! Xena and Joxer have been captured! Gabrielle peeked cautiously from behind a bush. The thieves had restrained the two warriors with manacles and chained them together. The chain was looped over a tree branch above their heads, so neither captive was able to reach the locks. They didn't seem to be hurt, but Gabrielle imagined she could see the steam of Xena's wrath rising from the back of her neck. She followed the direction of the warrior's furious stare.

Five ruffians crowded together around Argo and argued. "But you don't know HOW to ride a horse! Besides, we could sell him to somebody for a lot of dinars ..." A scuffle ensued, and one of them attempted to mount the warhorse. Argo sidestepped and he landed on his face. She stepped back, and he hastily scrambled out of the way. Another criminal came a little closer and yelped with pain and surprise when she bit him.

Gabrielle grinned. She had never seen an assembly of such incompetent scoundrels. She continued to watch and listen until she caught Xena's eye. Signalling her to be quiet, she stepped out from her concealment and called out, "Hello! Anybody home?"

Whirling in surprise, the band reached for their swords. Gabrielle held her hands up to show she was unarmed. "Wow! This must be my lucky day!" Seemingly unconscious of their threatening looks, she walked right up to the group and pointed behind them at Xena and Joxer. "Do you have any idea who you've captured?"

Five heads swiveled to follow her gesture. Xena scowled at them.

"No? That's Joxer the Mighty and Xena the Warrior Princess! You guys must be terrific fighters!" She batted her eyelashes at them.

Proudly, one of them pounded his chest with a fist. "I did it. They got caught in one of my traps." Indeed, the area was riddled with poorly concealed traps and snares. Gabrielle had no difficulty locating or avoiding them as she approached the camp.

"Really? Please, you've GOT to tell me all about it." She pulled her bag from her shoulder and began rummaging through it. They reached for their weapons. Looking up, she pulled out parchment and a quill, held them up for their suspicious inspection. "You see, I'm a bard, and if I can get this down just right, it'll make my reputation. You'll be famous -- all of you." She smiled winningly.

"Famous?"

"Well infamous anyway. But everybody will hear all about how you defeated the two most dangerous warriors in the known world." She unrolled the parchment and sat down on a rock.

They all looked at each other. "Come to think of it, I think I've heard the name Joxer before. Isn't he the guy that everybody sings about ..."

Gabrielle did her best not to roll her eyes. "That's the guy. Now first, I need to get all your names." She waved her quill at them.

"Uh, well, I'm Doofius, and this is Dunderic. That's my brother Derelictic and my other brother Derelictic." He pointed at the fifth. "He's Dumbicle."

Gabrielle stifled a giggle as she scribbled down their names. "OK, so after a terrific struggle, you lured them into your trap ..." looking up, she gazed into the distance, "... what incredible criminal masterminds!" She frowned. "This is such an opportunity for me. To witness, well almost witness, such an historic event."

"Criminal masterminds. I like that!" Completely under her spell, they eagerly crowded around her and told an exaggerated, embellished tale of an epic and violent battle.

"Wait, wait! You're all going too fast. Everybody will get their turn, but the setting needs some work. Let me see ... I know! OK, I want you all to stand over there. It'll help me to fix in my mind your coordinated attack."

They shoved and pushed to arrange themselves in a clumsy formation at the location she indicated.

Casually, Gabrielle strolled to stand in front of them. She picked up Xena's chakram from the ground where one of the thieves dropped it when he cut himself on its razor edge. "And this is?"

"Careful! That thing's sharp--"

"Exactly!" She threw the weapon. It wasn't a throw like Xena would make, and didn't ricochet off multiple surfaces. But it did go straight to its mark -- the trigger to the net snare under their feet. The trap sprung, bagging the burglars in its web. Gabrielle dusted her hands together. "I think that wraps up the ending quite nicely, thank you."

Retrieving her staff, she poked the cursing, writhing bundle above her head. "Throw down your weapons, guys." A storm of protests ensued, but further poking resulted in a small rain of rusty swords, daggers and a slingshot. "And the key." She poked again. A key fell to the dust. She picked it up. "Don't go away, fellas. I'm going to get the other side of this story."

Sauntering over to Xena, she grinned at the warrior. "You're late." She twirled the key on her finger.

Xena smiled at her. "You're incredible."

"I like to think so." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed Xena. The warrior strained against her bonds and returned the favor with gusto.

"Hey! Quit pulling, Xena!" Xena's efforts had raised Joxer a hand's span above the ground. He struggled and kicked as he dangled.

"Hang on, Joxer. I'll have you loose in just a minute." Gabrielle unhurriedly ended their kiss and fetched an empty wooden box from the thieves' cache of stolen goods. She set it next to the tree and climbed up to unlock their chains. Joxer flopped to the ground, rubbing his wrists, and didn't notice the passionate embrace that resulted when Xena helped Gabrielle down from the box.

"Gabrielle, you don't have to look so smug." She and Xena walked side by side leading Argo. The warhorse carried a large bundle, consisting of confiscated stolen goods. The captured land pirates walked ahead of them, tied together single file. Joxer led the way. The trail had broadened into a road that paralleled a river. The water was nearly at flood level, a raging torrent, treacherous with rapids.

"I don't get to rescue you that often, Xena." Gabrielle grinned at her. "I'm going to enjoy it while I can."

"It's not your usual routine, but when you do ... it's pretty dramatic."

Their conversation was interrupted by their captives' whining and complaining. "I'm thirsty! ... Yeah, how about a drink?" Their pleas continued until Xena finally relented.

"All right, all right. Quit squawking." She led them to the river's edge. "Gabrielle, see if you can find something for them to drink out of."

Gabrielle started rummaging through the bundle on Argo's back. In typical fashion, the three criminals started jostling and pulling at each other. "Hey! Quit pushing!" A shoving match started, and before Xena could intervene, Dumbicle fell into the river, yanking the rest of his gang into the water with him. Drawing out her whip, the warrior lashed out and snagged the rope holding the five men together. But the combination of the men's weight and the strength of the current jerked her in after them. All six were instantly carried into the rapids.

Gabrielle and Joxer ran along the riverbank. They glimpsed an occasionally bobbing head as the current increased speed. The roar of the water became deafening and the string of swimmers disappeared over a waterfall just as the road split away from the river.

"Xena!" Gabrielle called in despair.

By the time Joxer and Gabrielle found a path to the waterfall's end, they discovered Xena hauling her string of thieves from the water's edge.

Gabrielle rushed up to her. "Xena! Are you all right?"

"Fine. I'm just fine. Let's just get going and lock these idiots up before they hurt themselves."

Despite Xena and Gabrielle's adventures, it was Joxer that received the hero's welcome when the trio returned. His family crowded around him, pounding his back, eager to hear all the details of the fight. Naturally, Joxer's description of their adventure in no way resembled the actual events. Even the criminal quintuplet supported his version.

"I think they're all in some kind of trance." A weary Gabrielle sat down next to Xena by the hearth. "That's got to be the explanation."

"Maybe there's something in the water." Xena was still damp from her dunking. Gabrielle looked at her in alarm.

"But WE'VE been drinking the water!"

"I'm joking, Gabrielle." Xena grinned at her. "But just in case, I think we ought to be on our way tomorrow. You seem well enough to travel, judging from this morning's rescue."

"Xena! Here ya go!" Joxer plopped down on the other side of the warrior princess. "I've got something that'll warm you up on the inside." He handed her a cup and filled it to the brim. "This is Aunt Jary's special recipe."

She eyed it and him with suspicion. "What is it?"

"It's not poison. Go ahead, try it."

Cautiously, she took a sip. Her eyebrows shot up. "Hey, not bad."

"Here, Gabrielle. You didn't fall in the river, but I think you'll appreciate this anyway."

She took the proffered cup, sipped the liquid. "Hmm, tastes like licorice. What did you say this is?"

At the same instant the liquor reached the back of her throat and she wheezed, he replied, "Ouzo. Pretty good huh?" There was a crash of pottery from the other side of the room, and someone started playing a stringed instrument. "Looks like the party's starting. Come on, you two, you don't want to miss this."

Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other as several more of Joxer's family joined them with entreaties to join in the festivities. They were as irresistible as an elemental force. Joxer grinned at them as he stood. "Besides, you don't want to drink this stuff so close to an open flame ..."

"Come on, it's your turn again, Gabrielle."

"No, no, really, I can't sing another verse. My throat is raw and my mind is mush."

She let herself be persuaded to take another drink for the condition of her throat and surveyed the damage that surrounded her. Of the fourteen people still seated at the table, only five were not slumped over the table. One of Joxer's cousins toppled from his chair, landing in the litter of shattered pottery that carpeted the floor. Xena hadn't said a word for the last hour. Although she was still sitting very erect and her eyes were open, Gabrielle wasn't entirely certain that the warrior was conscious.

The cause of the devastation immediately surrounding them was a drinking game so diabolical that only Joxer's family could have dreamed it up. Gabrielle couldn't believe that she and Xena had been seduced into playing. The rules were simple: each person at the table was to sing a new verse to the Joxer song. If you couldn't think of a new one when it was your turn, you had to sing one of the known verses and take a drink. If you sang a new verse, everyone else at the table took a drink to toast it. So far, there had been nineteen new verses, eight of them by Gabrielle. The game ended at twenty-one verses.

Silently, she thanked the gods she was a bard and was accustomed to composing rhyming poetry. Poor Xena was not similarly prepared, and was now a little frayed at the edges. Gabrielle took a deep breath, "OK, this is absolutely the last one." She sang:

"Joxer the Mighty,
Saw Aphrodite
Ensorcelled by the goddess
He beat up on the lawless
His outfit, it was flawless.

Ileandra lost her heart
When Joxer showed his manly art
She let the angry prince depart
I couldn't get those two apart!
Fearing not to face the king
Every time a bell would ring
Joxer in a warrior haze
Faced someone in killing craze.

Charming ladies left and right
In the temple did he fight
Making such a disarray
The goddess let herself be swayed
To lift the curse -- it could be worse
She could have turned him to a horse!"

Her nondiscriminating, uncritical public cheered her latest creative effort with huzzahs and more broken dishes.

They all looked at Xena.

To their astonishment, she was still conscious. "My turn," she mumbled. Slowly, the warrior pushed herself up to stand, cleared her throat and sang:

"Joxer the friendly,
Has a real big family
Who love him evident-al-ly
as much as Gabrielle and me.

He threw away a chance to be
A warrior for my enemy.
Tossed aside the offered knife
When told to take a gentle life.

Another time he brought the fight
Right to the crazy woman's sight
Helping me to break away
Wounded as he saved the day.

Thinking me to be Callisto
Drew his sword to save my Argo
Then despite what eyes could see
He freely gave his trust to me.

When bear did knock my friend aside
He sacrificed his clothes and pride
To lead us down the mountain side
It really was a scary ride.

Whenever things get really grim
I recommend you call on him.
He'll be a friend that's really true
And stick to you like crazy glue."

The table erupted in pandemonium. Xena tossed down another drink, then stiff as a falling tree, passed out flat on her back.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Xena pulled Gabrielle up behind her on Argo and eased the warhorse through the horde of Joxer's family who had come out to see them off. The crowd finally opened up to reveal the open trail before them. She urged Argo into an easy canter. At last they were on their way!

A little further down the road, she slowed Argo to a walk. Despite her hangover, she felt positively cheerful. "How you doing back there?" She looked over her shoulder at Gabrielle.

"I think I better walk for a while. My breakfast is still bouncing up and down." Xena halted and she slid off the horse. Looking at Argo, "No offense intended. That was some party last night."

Xena dismounted and walked beside her. "Apparently."

"I can't believe you don't remember."

Xena still thought Gabrielle was making it up to tease her.

"It was brilliant! You really are a woman of many skills. I had no idea you could compose ..."

"Gabrielle, the last thing I remember is Joxer's uncle singing about Joxer and the bandits. There was a horrible attempt to rhyme "apprehended" with "rabbit". "

The Amazon queen grinned at her. "Maybe it really IS the water. You were pretty saturated ..."

"GABRIELLE!"

Alone at last, our two heroes made camp and attempted to relax and enjoy a quiet evening. Their long stay at Joxer's uncle's home had rendered their usual fireside chores unnecessary. All the mending was done, their clothes laundered, Gabrielle's scrolls caught up, Xena's weapons honed to a razor's edge, her armor polished to a brilliant shine.

Nervously, Xena peeked sideways at Gabrielle. 'Why is she sitting all the way over there?' She tried to plot a strategy that would lure the bard closer to her side. She had already abandoned her first impulse: rip Gabrielle's clothes off, throw her to the ground and leap on top of her. 'No finesse, lacks subtlety.' Besides, THEN what would she do? Her body vibrated with tension, trying to persuade her mind that it would think of something if given that opportunity. Maybe if she challenged Gabrielle to a wrestling match ...

She felt as if she and Gabrielle had fallen over the edge of a precipice and were now dangling from a rope. The strength of her willpower was fading fast. There was a (remote, admittedly) chance that they could climb back up to the solid ground of their friendship the way it was before. Or they could let go and fall into the great unknown of the passion their kisses have foreshadowed.

Even if she did know what to do, what if Gabrielle was having second thoughts? 'What if she doesn't like being with a woman? What if I don't like it?' Her mind fell over backward off the log laughing -- who was she trying to fool?

"What's so funny?" Gabrielle got up and sat next to her, linking her arm in the skittish warrior's. "And why are you sitting way over here?" Since her five circuits of their camp to ensure their privacy, Xena had been withdrawn and quiet all evening. The smile that flickered briefly over her face was immediately replaced by a worried expression. Gabrielle had been looking forward with great anticipation to their first night alone. So far it had been a disappointment.

Xena frowned with worry, but did take Gabrielle's hand in hers. "Gabrielle, I don't know how to tell you this ..." The bard braced herself for some horrible revelation as Xena took a deep breath. "... I ... I've never been with a woman before. I don't know what to do."

Gabrielle carefully kept her expression serious, but her twinkling eyes would have betrayed that attempt if Xena would have to looked at her. "Oh? You mean you don't have a plan of attack?"

"Right." Glumly, Xena stared at the fire.

"Well, maybe I could help you concentrate ..." She started easing the bracer from Xena's wrist.

'Good idea. The armor's got to go.' Xena absentmindedly unhooked her breastplate and continued to mentally choreograph her seduction of the bard. She shrugged out of the rest of the armor, took off her greaves and boots. Wrestling was no good. Perhaps if she tripped Gabrielle near the blanket ... no, too obvious.

Gabrielle snuggled up next to her, an arm around her waist. Xena put an arm around her shoulder, and Gabrielle pressed even closer.

"Come up with anything, yet?" She put a hand on Xena's thigh.

Xena turned to tell her no, and was startled by the expression on the Amazon Queen's face. Gabrielle didn't seem very concerned about the lack of a plan.

Just before Gabrielle kissed Xena, the bard whispered, "I'm sure if we put our heads together, we'll think of something."

Xena's misgivings vaporized in the heat generated by their kiss, and her creative juices started to flow. Gabrielle, being a bard, was no slouch in the creative department either, and inspired her further. Juices other than those creative began to flow as the two women, driven need and desire, explored the territory of their love for one another.

Somehow the two novices muddled through together, despite Xena's failure to come up with an opening gambit. Awkwardness, shyness and inexperience were the only real casualties of the night. Well maybe not the only ones -- Gabrielle's green halter would need mending, and there was that blanket that got singed in the fire ....

The End

If you have enjoyed roc-it scientist's "Oblivion", then please be certain to e-mail her at  roc-it[at]uswest.net  and thank her for posting this Story.

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